“I once was lost but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.”
~ Amazing Grace
The first week in February I lost the sight in my left eye. It started as a squiggly line across the lower visual field that mushroomed into a dark curtain hanging over my entire line of sight. What I thought could be a detached retina morphed into a three-month odyssey that continues to unwind today.
Working with an ophthalmologist, my primary care physician and a ophtha-neurologist, I have had a full battery of blood tests, an MRI, IV steroids, a lumbar puncture procedure to collect my spinal fluid, a temporal artery biopsy and an ultra sound on my carotid arteries. There are no definitive answers as to why this occurred or what caused this event that was never a part of the plan I had for myself. The good news is I don’t have MS, lupus, Giant Cell Arteritis, Lyme disease and various other infectious and immune diseases. The official diagnosis is optic neuritis from an optic stroke.
An unexpected experience can shatter our known existence to become a series of wanderings into the unknown. All of life revolves around the epicenter of such an event and rocks our very foundation. I am wrestling with the seemingly craziness of this situation while simultaneously considering the value of this experience. I have found that there is intelligence in this, an awakening that brings a new perspective and richness to life.
During this time, I have consulted my SoulCollage® cards almost daily asking for guidance, support and insights to move through this process. I also have made several new cards to reflect the obstacles I am facing and the openings that are coming my way. Because each card is a reflection of some part of me, I have touched into my own inner advice and wisdom, which has helped me to make decisions in my best interest.
We all have times in our lives when an unexpected trajectory appears. Questions arise such as Why me? Now what? What’s next? Perhaps these times are not as dramatic as the one I just experienced, but they are mini-shatterings that call for us to ride out the course in unknown territory until something shifts that brings forth a new creative aspect of life. SoulCollage® cards are a way to honor the experience and bring us to new understandings.
I am one who has fallen over your left visual field,
sitting in the background, a moving,
breathing jumble of geometric shapes and designs
all with a life of my own.
I am one who reminds you of your vulnerability and the preciousness of your sight.
I am one who is awakening you to a different way of seeing life,
a new normal.